Blessed

"Blessed..." Ps 1:1

Point Pleasant Park 12 May 2017 - Photo taken by Stephen Elford

In two weeks Stephen and I begin our Camino de Santiago in Saint Jean Pied de Port, France bound for Santiago. I admit to feeling a little under-prepared but time keeps marching on. It all feels a little surreal to me. My 12 year-old son and I are going to walk the Camino, an 800km trek across Spain! Am I crazy??

We have been walking regularly for the past few months although I admit that we were not as diligent at keeping our training program as I had hoped. Time keeps on marching on and whether ready or not soon we will be leaving.

I have been told there are two questions pilgrims ask one another along the Camino: "Where did you start?" and "Why are you waking?" I consider the latter question often. I thought about it before I purchased my tickets from Halifax to Paris. My answers have varied over the months but today I can confidently say that beyond having wanted to walk the Camino for years, I really have no idea why I am embarking on this adventure. I admit there is a deep desire in me to do it but I really don't know why. I think I am going to know, or at least get a knowing glimpse of the answer somewhere along the way. There is something I need to learn along the Camino and I think it will become clear when it needs to become clear. I am happy with that and step out in hope having no idea what it all means. 

I do have a bit of a spiritual plan to meditate on the psalms every day while walking. Tonight, while I was walking toward Point Pleasant Park I thought about beginning my reflection on the psalms now. So, I opened up the Bible to Psalm 1. It was a beautiful way to begin this Camino journey because had to read no further than the first word. The first word of the first psalm is "Blessed". I enjoyed considering how blessed I am to be on this journey..

"Blessed..." I am blessed to have this beautiful, fragile thing called life. To simply exist is a mysteriously beautiful gift to be embraced in all of its poverty and riches. Like anyone, when I think about the time, relationships and opportunities squandered - or at least not fully embraced over the years - I am able to learn and move forward in gratitude for more time to work it all out. More time to learn, more relationships to nourish and more opportunities to embrace.

I am blessed to have three dear, kind, loving, empathetic, sincere, beautiful children. I never knew how much capacity I had for love until I learned to be a father. I continue to learn how to be a father and I continue to deepen in love. 

I am blessed to have my marriage to Lindsay. I have learned about standing side-by-side by falling down. I have learned the strength of utter weakness and of hope that wells up like tears. Tears are sacred, cleansing messengers. Tears reveal a path of euphporic joy as well as the darkness of grief and pain. I have learned to trust the leading of tears as rivers of healing. I am blessed to have Lindsay as my wife. 

I am blessed to have the opportunity to make this Camino. That I am going with my son is an unspeakable joy to me. He is a kind boy. [insert tears of joy here]

I am blessed with enough doubt to have grown in faith in God that soothes every deep crevice of my body, mind and soul. I feel entirely free in my humanity because I know Christ and the deep intimacy of the loving otherness. It is all gift.

Stephen and I walked 15 km tonight. It feels good. I feel blessed. I feel grateful.