Journal

29 May 2017

As I write this I am on a train heading to Saint Jean Pied de Port where Stephen and I will begin healing the ancient pilgrimage route, the way to Saint James in Santiago de Compostela.  I expect this journey to be physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually challenging. 

Stephen and I have prepared physically for this journey and we have spoken about the emotional/mental and spiritual aspects of the trip. I think we are as ready as we will ever be understanding that I know we are not totally ready. I tried to pack well but I know we am carrying too much. We will simply have to make adjustments as we go. Such is life. 

Spiritually, I have begun reflecting on the Psalms and as I wrote earlier, have so far made it to the third word, "man".

So far I have considered "blessed" and "is". I have been thinking a great deal about the word "man" since then. I wrote a short entry about a year ago on the manliness of mercy. But, as I reflect on "man" today I don't consider man as in the masculine but man as in being a human.  

I am a man, a human, created in the image and likeness of God. I am reminded of an image that came to me in prayer some time ago when I was making an Ignatian directed retreat. The image was that of me rising up out of the mud in the Garden of Eden. I remember wiping away the mud from my eyelids amid the splendor of the Garden. As I wiped the mud away I saw my Creator looking at me with a wide, gentle, loving smile from ear to ear. He face was one of pure joy and love as he delighted in my creation. "Beloved child" is all that needed to be said as I stood there joyfully immersed in love. I simply basked in the awe and wonder of it all. 

This is the seat of my true identity as a man; to know that I am loved, created by a loving Creator who delights in my presence and I delight in His. 

As I write this, on a train between Paris and Bayonne with windmills and vast green pastures whizzing by I gaze upon my son, asleep in the seat next to me. I am fully of joy and delight as I bask in his presence. I notice the patch of eczema on each of his eyelids as he sleeps. I want to wipe it away, to heal him. I love him, my beloved child. 

I am so thankful for this opportunity to make this pilgrimage with Stephen. As he sleeps next to me....My beloved children. I delight in their presence. 

I am overwhelmed with a sense of joy.